Personal book reflection …
In a World of Conflict
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Marshall Rosenberg started sharing his work in non-violent communication (NVC) some forty years ago and I had the good fortune to attend an incredible nine day program in October 2018 in Port Aransas, Texas. Each participant had their own style of applying the tools you will be gifted with in this book. The experiential and integrated nature of the NVC training program is demonstrated in the way this book is written. Its impact on me was so exciting that I’ve included the principles and skills in coaching programs at an individual and group level.
Speak Peace helped open my heart and mind to a new vocabulary with practical guidance on how to apply these skills in my everyday life, starting with how I speak to myself. Be prepared to be challenged and yet to question the simplicity of what you will practice and apply.
The two questions asked at the beginning of the book were: what is alive in you and how can you make life more wonderful? It starts with recognising my own needs and expressing them clearly as opposed to judging others for not meeting my needs – these are different lens to view the world.
Understanding my own needs first and then challenging myself to listen with an open heart to what someone else is saying based on their needs and their feelings : listening PAST evaluation or judgment takes “being present in discussions” to a new level.
For high achievers and “outcomes” driven humans / businesses/ communities, actively listening to needs and feelings sounds time consuming. However, when I reflect on my own behaviours when caught up in “a moment of delivery”, I recognise how many hours have been spent sorting out the impact of judgmental communication which is a welcomed reminder to slow down to increase efficiency and effectiveness. Surprisingly the techniques enable clear and concise communication.
My personal best with this book is recognising how much power I give to self-judgment and how often this comes up with clients in relation to their self-talk.
This quote on self-empathy is worth bearing in mind as you explore an alternative way to listening to different views in your conversations – including your own.
“Let us be glad of the dignity of our privilege to make mistakes,
glad of the wisdom that enables us to recognise them,
glad of the power that permits us to turn their light as a glowing illumination along the pathway of our future.
Mistakes are the growing pains of wisdom.
Without them there would be no individual growth, no progress, no conquest.